That’s where the therapy comes in. Along with the help of a wonderful psychologist and an education specialist I have broken down the more challenging aspects of motherhood and put them into categories. Each week this summer I will cover an issue and fill you in on what the experts have to say on it.

You may think that I have been MIA….but not so. I have been learning how to be a better HOLLYWOODMOM! So as our children end the school year and vacation begins we will find ourselves with alot more time to spend with our kids. This can allow us to try new ways to parent them….but remember time off means less pressure…time off can also mean MORE pressure. It is how we choose to grow as mothers that determines the outcome.
Visit me next week as I start the series…..
Are Reading/Writing/Math Programs Good for the Summer?

Last night my husband Chazz and I took our son to the premiere of Limitless in NYC. Our good friend Bob DeNiro along with new friend Bradley Cooper star in this incredible film about the possibility of living beyond one’s potential. The evening was spectacular and the after party at Buddakan was fabulous as we dined on Asian cuisine and watched the new generation hit the party scene.

LIMITLESS is a must see. By taking a clear little pill Bradley Cooper’s character transforms his life from an unfocused wannabe writer to an accomplished author and Wall Street tycoon. The film was incredible, directed by Neil Burger and written by Leslie Dixon, and kept us all on the edge of our seats for the entire time. This is definitely a film to take our teenage children to as it poses the question, “How much time, how much brain power, do we waste?” Even though the transformation in the film was due to a pill the message was clear…work hard and dream big. A message that will not be wasted on our young.

I do believe there is much room for improvement in each of our lives by reaching down and finding out how we can be more efficient with our time and energy. This film somehow inspired me to be better and I left wanting more from life. At the party there were fake sugar pills on the tables that looked like the super drug in the movie. And as we all wished the pills and its powers were real the magic of Hollywood once again affected us all….including my son. LIMITLESS can do that.

As part of the Academy Awards celebration festivities I, along with my husband Chazz, had the pleasure of having an pre -Oscar lunch with
HollywoodMom-to-be, Natalie Portman. The honor was completely mine as we dined with the Oscar nominated actress, her director, Darren Aronofsky and her fiance, Benjamin Millipied, New York City Ballet star and film’s choreographer and toasted their film, Black Swan. Not only did I find Natalie to be glowing with the beauty of her pregnancy but calm and excited for the wonderful months ahead. A very pregnant Natalie will be going to the Academy Awards this weekend and will hopefully come back to NY with the Oscar for Best Actress. As we dined at the 21 Club over vegetarian dishes and fish we talked about motherhood and how it magically shapes and transforms you as a person and as an actor. Everyone at our small table had their own little pieces of advice for Natalie and Benjamin some funny, some serious. But my advice was simple and pure…. no role in any film will compare to the amazing role we play as mothers. What our babies bring to us opens up a world of colors and experiences that we could never see before therefore changing us for the better. It won’t be easy but it definitely will be worth it. As I wished her all the luck with her baby and with her film, I knew that motherhood would make her life even more perfect than it was already.

If you haven’t seen Black Swan please run and see it before the Oscars, which are this Sunday February 27th, 2011. Natalie Portman gives a stellar performance as a NYC principal ballerina struggling to come to terms with the pressures of the ballet. Her dancing is so beautiful but it is her acting and her intensity that mesmerizes us all.

As a young girl Natalie trained until she was 12 and only recently began dancing again for the film. We talked about how difficult it was to live the life of a dancer and how much training it takes yet the love of ballet stays with you forever. Just as her beautiful role of Nina will stay with me.

The first time that I ever met Gwyneth we were young and new to Hollywood. I was visiting the set of one of the films that her father was producing….I can’t remember the name since so many years have passed….and I was up for one of the roles in the film. I was there with my agent who was close to her family and we spent some time on the set watching a scene being filmed. I will never forget how beautiful and warm she was that day….and how much I instantly liked her.

After many years and several children later I find her more beautiful than ever, proving that motherhood only makes a woman better!! Please check out a video clip of her latest film, COUNTRY STRONG, where Gwyneth stars as a country singer who has hit bottom and fights to get her life back.

Not only has the cupcake craze taken me by storm but it is an actual bakery that is calling me by name. It the fabulous, CRUMBS. Located in every city that I have been in lately it seems that CRUMBS Bakery is everywhere. It used to be that Starbucks was my hideout but lately between birthdays, ballet days, Halloween parties and school meetings I have been in and out of more CRUMBS than I could ever imagine. Needless to say these are the cutest and most succulent frosty delights filled with the moistest cake ever! I cannot resist them. The store is a throwback to old fashioned comfort food and instantly makes you feel like a safe and happy child. For me, as well as others, I cannot wait to pick out my cupcake of the day. My children and their friends have now become full fledged CRUMBS groupies. Life can be sweet.

It also can be sour. As I sit here and write I cannot help but notice the full muffin top I have grown since my love of cupcakes began. Who would know that cupcakes would lead to muffins? I am living proof that two weeks worth of the cutest most adorable food in the world has landed me here in Muffinland. This HollywoodMom needs to get her butt back to Starbucks where skim latte’s and water will be my obsesion once again.

But please check out CRUMBS in the town closest to you. And take my word…you will leave much happier than when you went in.

All this good old fashioned summer fun has me freaking out. The work crashed in on me as soon as I got home. The piles in my office had me running to Starbucks. I tried to set up the tent but it smelled like a big plastic garbage bag. I also realized that I am horrible at setting up a tent and that my teenage son and husband are worse than me. All my freaking out sent my daughter back to sucking her thumb…which, I might add, she had kicked while we were playing hooky!! The pressure of summer fun can be too much of a good thing…..and many a mother’s sanity has been compromised during these lazy dayz….What’s a girl to do??

After taking stock of the situation over a bunch of Oreos, I realized why playing hooky (out of my house) and living on the road was so great….NO CLUTTER.

Everything was easy and simple as I only had the bare essentials with me. There was no pile of books…no scripts…no unfinished songs….no dogs….no gardening…no thank you’s….no to do lists….no computer…no mail…just my little blackberry for the truley important things in life. My husband was shooting a film and me and the children were exploring the new cities that we found ourselves in. NO PRESSURE!! The kids were the focus and nothing pulled me from them. We had a blast!! I had a blast!! I was relaxed.

The problem seems to arise when I am at odds with myself, and this happens at home. All of what has to be done, weather it be for my career or weather it be for my family pulls at me as soon as I start to have a little fun with the kids. They are around so much more during the summer break that spending time with your children is inevitable. It just seems like the little voice inside me keeps telling me to get back to work when I am with the kids… and the little mother’s voice inside me tells me to make some great memories with the kids when I am working. You see what I mean?? That’s when I freak out….the piles grow bigger and the kids grow taller….and I am stuck in the middle.

Being away for me was wonderful because I was committed to what I was doing…being in the present and being with my kids. Not worrying. Not working. But also not realistic!

The question was how to do this at home. As I sat down with a friend and listened to her return from vacation freak-out story the answer hit me….ORGANIZATION. I had to organize my time with the kids….it couldn’t be a free for all. I had to organize my time to write….it couldn’t be a slipped in my day. Camps had to be back on the schedule….party time was over. Study time had to be a big part of the day…no more web time. In essence, I had to run my life and my children’s lives like we were at school and in an office. Once I realized this and got over the un-fun factor, I felt more in control. And being in controll really makes me a better mother. Even as I write this, I am feeling better.

It is true….the busier one is, the more one gets done. So tomorrow I will sit down with the kids and plan the rest of the summer. Since we will go away to the beach again, whatever time we spend at home has to be carefully organized. And at the sake of keeping my sanity, I will organize my life. It is the only way to quiet the guilty little voice inside of my head.

Tomorrow, I get to all those piles in my office as my children head off to study in their rooms. I work, they work. I play, they play. Sounds easy??? I am not so sure….but I will definately let you all know how it turns out. And who knows….I may just schedule in a night were we all sleep in that smelly tent!!

1. Ignore the pile of laundry/bills/whatnots! Get out of the house for a walk or picnic….or a drive to somewhere different. Find out where the fireworks are and get yourself there ….with kids or without. The pile will be there the next day….figure it out during the week.

2. Go to a movie marathon! Try the theatre for a great escape with friends or family. Pick 2 or 3 films and see them all in one day/night!! It is a blast and a very fun way to see all the summer blockbusters! (Or try an art house theatre .) As a HollywoodMom, this is always an option for me. Chazz and I would make up several marathons and mix up a comedy, an action film and a chick flick all in one day. We would argue like critics about each film and measure their merit against each other. You will be surprised at how sophisticated your film taste gets after a couple of marathons!!

3. Lighten up!! If you and your spouse have different expectations on how you should spend the day/weekend, don’t argue about it. Let him do his thing for 4 hours and you go do your thing for 5 hours. Meet somewhere and compare….make a joke of it….because I am sure that yours will be much more fun! And wear makeup when you meet up….it will piss him off and get him wondering.

4. Look fabulous! It doesn’t matter what you put on….just make sure that you are somehow put together and not in sweats or yoga pants!!! It is not how you feel, dahlink, but how you look. Even though this sounds superficial, whenever you pull yourself together your mood follows. You will see yourself in a more wonderful way. It works!!

5. Invite some friends over! If you have some friends in town, get together. Don’t worry about the details….just get together. Mojitos anyone??

So there you have it….a loose guide to having some un-pressured fun for the 4th of July weekend!! As for me…I am taking my own advice. My daughter Gabriella( wants to hit the theatre with a movie marathon…The Last Airbender….followed by Eclipse….followed by Shrek, the Final Chapter!! Now that is a combo.

My son Dante (14) wants to see…The Last Airbender…..followed by Get Him to the Greek ( for the 3rd time)…..followed by Grown-Ups. As you can see the age and gender difference is making this option impossible.

As for my husband, he is home for only 3 days since he is shooting a film in New Orleans and wants to stay home in the country. That is why I am not somwhere fabulous and beachy. When you are in the film business, the film schedule dictates the amount of fun you can have. In this case, not so much time off….not so much fun.

Therefore, I am following options # 1, #3, #4 and #5. I am going straight up to take a shower and look fab, then I will have a sangria ( I want a mojito, but I don’t know how to make them) and not pull an attitude when he gets back from looking at ATVs with our son. Attitude is a mild description of what I want to give him. I will be having a wonderful time NOT being in East Hampton with my pal Chynna and all our kids….I will be making a wonderful 4th of July right here in my own backyard!! And even though it is not as exciting as I would like it to be….I will be happy to just be!!